I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
