But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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