"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
