My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
