sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He's on the porch naked. Help.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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