I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize