she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
