I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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