is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
