I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
