New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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