if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
