Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
