Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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