To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
