I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
