beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I am never drinking with the goths again.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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