in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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