I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
