why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
