i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
