That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We have so much sex to catch up on
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
