i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
