Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
