A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
