Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
