do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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