i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
