party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My bed smells like the plague
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
