is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
