trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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