You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
