Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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