Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I need to sanitize my soul.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
