I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize