do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
P.S. I can't hear my feet
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
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