It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
