im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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