She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
