is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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