you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
