I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
did you just send me my own nude
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
