You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize