I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
