she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
