Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
