you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
