why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
