I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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