That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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