I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
