Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
