Capitaan dildo arrescate!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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