I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
