smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
