this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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