We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
