so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
