It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
