I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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