I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
