Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dick very happy bro
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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