I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
