I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
