his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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