i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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