She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
