i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
