dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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