are you still at the devil's house?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize