dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i used baking grease as lip gloss
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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