After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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