24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
