I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
