i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
